I like caraway seeds.
Today, on a break from work, in the midst of grabbing a much needed latte and trying to arrange a telephone interview with a veterinary idol for a magazine article, I dashed into Noah’s Bagels to grab a sandwich to take back to the office for lunch. I’m trying to get back to my ideal weight, and so attempting some moderation food-wise, and the Avocado BLT on a Bagel Thin sounded good. “What flavor bagel,” the clerk asked. “Oh, an Everything Bagel,” I answered. Everything is good, right? More is better?
A couple of hours later, I opened my sandwich and grimaced. I hadn’t realized that the Everything Bagel had caraway seeds. I hate caraway. I’ve always hated caraway. As I child, I had ongoing battles with rye bread and my grandmother’s sauerkraut. Caraway seeds are icky.
I was hungry. Stomach growling, holes being gnawed in the lining, hungry. I bit into the sandwich and cringed at the familiar flavor. Then something shifted. As I took another bite, I let go of the past. I became aware of the salt crystals on the chewy surface of the bagel, the licorice-like tang of the caraway seeds, the butter of the avocado. I chewed, thought, rolled the thought around my tongue, and chewed some more.
I like caraway seeds.
In that moment of letting go, of relinquishing what I “know” about what I want and what I like, I freed myself to experience the sensation of tasting the caraway seed for the first time. And suddenly, I possessed the potential to be a new me.
This isn’t about a seed, of course, or even about a bagel.
We think we know ourselves. We believe that we know what drives us. What we like, what we fear, what makes us who we are.
But what happens if we let go of all of that -- for a moment, in a conversation, during a meal, in a relationship? What happens if we surrender our own history to the past? What happens if we open ourselves to the possibility that we have grown, that we are no longer the person who feared a situation or hated a flavor? What happens if we allow the moment to exist on its own without pre-conceptions?
Try it sometime. It’s a rush.
